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College Football Coaches as Recruits Rankings

It's here. The annual scientific breakdown of every single college football coach if we treated them as recruits. The premise is a simple one; we give them stars: 1-5. Those stars are based on their performance and accomplishments. Real, tangible accomplishments. Folks, I wish I could argue with you on these, but it's sweet, sweet science and as we have learned: no one can argue with science.

The formula is a deep, thorough analysis of what accomplishments mean the most and through significant introspection, meditation and an extreme lack of consultation with anyone else I have landed on the following as the key coaching milestone criteria:

+ Bowl Game Appearance

+ Bowl Win

+ 10-Win Season

+ Conference Championship

+ National Championship

Each coach received a "star" for each criteria they have met in their career. If a coach has met a certain set of criteria multiple times, he only receives a "star" for one accomplished task. So if a coach has won three bowl games, for example, he still only gets one star for being a bowl-winning coach. The number of times he notched that criteria becomes applicable in the ranking of his stature amongst the coaches who have also met the same number of criteria stated above. For transparency, I have attached the hardcore data for you. Small note: there are five coaches (Terry Bowden, Butch Davis, Hugh Freeze, Brian Kelly and Nick Saban) that have wins stripped from their official records and as a fan of the NCAA, I recognize this authority in terms of ranking of by-law abiding coaches. With the methodology being revealed, an inarguable science I remind you, I can reveal the inarguable Coaches as Recruits Rankings for 2021.

The 5-Stars:

1. Nick Saban, Alabama

2. Dabo Swinney, Clemson

3. Mack Brown, North Carolina

4. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M

5. Ed Oregeron, LSU

6. Scott Frost, Nebraska

The 4-Stars:

7. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame

8. Gary Patterson, TCU

9. Lincoln Riley, Oklahoma

10. Ryan Day, Ohio State

11. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa

12. Kirby Smart, Georgia

13. Kyle Whittingham, Utah

14. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State

15. David Shaw, Stanford

16. Bryan Harsin, Auburn

17. Chip Kelly, UCLA

18. Scott Satterfield, Louisville

19. Gus Malzahn, UCF

20. Bronco Mendenhall, Virginia

21. James Franklin, Penn State

22. Skip Holtz, Louisiana Tech

23. Butch Jones, Arkansas State

24. Butch Davis, FIU

25. Bill Clark, UAB

26. Billy Napier, Louisiana

27. Josh Heupel, Tennessee

28. Dave Doeren, North Carolina State

29. Lane Kiffin, Ole Miss

30. Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech

31. Terry Bowden, Louisiana-Monroe

32. Mario Cristobal, Oregon

33. Dana Holgorsen, Houston

34. P.J. Fleck, Minnesota

35. Clay Helton, USC

36. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati

37. Neal Brown, West Virginia

38. Jason Candle, Toledo

39. Bret Bielema, Illinois

40. Sonny Dykes, SMU

41. Hugh Freeze, Liberty

42. Jeff Brohm, Purdue

43. Dave Clawson, Wake Forest

44. Dino Babers, Syracuse

The 3-Stars:

45. Paul Chryst, Wisconsin

46. Dan Mullen, Florida

47. Mike Leach, Mississippi State

48. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan

49. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy

50. Todd Graham, Hawaii

51. Troy Calhoun, Air Force

52. David Cutcliffe, Duke

53. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern

54. Rod Carey, Temple

55. Marcus Arroyo, UNLV

56. Mike Norvell, Florida State

57. Rick Stockstill, Middle Tennessee State

58. Jim McElwain, Central Michigan

59. Chad Lunsford, Georgia Southern

60. Kalani Sitake, BYU

61. Greg Schiano, Rutgers

62. Jeff Monken, Army

63. Mark Stoops, Kentucky

64. Brady Hoke, San Diego State

65. Karl Dorrell, Colorado

66. Eli Drinkwitz, Missouri

67. Randy Edsall, Connecticut

68. Willie Fritz, Tulane

69. Matt Wells, Texas Tech

70. Lance Leipold, Kansas

71. Nick Rolovich, Washington State 72. Philip Montgomery, Tulsa

73. Mike Neu, Ball State

74. Jamey Chadwell, Coastal Carolina

The 2-Stars:

75. Matt Campbell, Iowa State

76. Steve Sarkisian, Texas

77. Pat Narduzzi, Pittsburgh

78. Blake Anderson, Utah State

79. Jay Norvell, Nevada

80. Shawn Clark, Appalachian State

81. Tyson Helton, Western Kentucky

82. Herm Edwards, Arizona State

83. Steve Addazio, Colorado State

84. Justin Wilcox, California

85. Willie Taggert, Florida Atlantic

86. Craig Bohl, Wyoming

87. Chuck Martin, Miami (Ohio)

88. Shawn Elliott, Georgia State

89. Brent Brennan, San Jose State

90. Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech

91. Ryan Silverfield, Memphis

92. Doug Martin, New Mexico State

93. Sean Lewis, Kent State

The 1-Stars:

94. Manny Diaz, Miami (Florida)

95. Tim Lester, Western Michigan

96. Chris Klieman, Kansas State

97. Tom Allen, Indiana

98. Seth Littrell, North Texas

99. Chris Creighton, Eastern Michigan

100. Will Healy, Charlotte

101. Jeff Traylor, UTSA

102. Sam Pittman, Arkansas

103. Jedd Fisch, Arizona

The 0-Stars:

104. Jimmy Lake, Washington

105. Jeff Hafley, Boston College

106. Kalen DeBoer, Fresno State

107. Chip Lindsey, Troy

108. Jonathan Smith, Oregon State

109. Mike Bloomgren, Rice

110. Jake Spavital, Texas State

111. Mel Tucker, Michigan State

112. Mike Houston, East Carolina

113. Thomas Hammock, Northern Illinois

114. Dana Dimel, UTEP

115. Mike Locksley, Maryland

116. Dave Aranda, Baylor

117. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico

118. Scott Loeffler, Bowling Green

119. Jeff Scott, South Florida

120. Tom Arth, Akron

121. Walt Bell, UMass

122. Will Hall, Southern Miss

123. Andy Avalos, Boise State

124. Tim Albin, Ohio

125. Ricky Rahne, Old Dominion

126. Clark Lea, Vanderbilt

127. Shane Beamer, South Carolina

128. Kane Wommack, South Alabama

129. Charles Huff, Marshall

130. Maurice Linguist, Buffalo

If you were keeping track, in the FBS ranks this season we will have 130 coaches on the sideline. Their prowess coming into 2021:

5-Stars: 6

4-Stars: 38

3-Stars: 30

2-Stars: 19

1-Star: 10

0-Stars: 27

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